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12 In 14

by Culture Trust

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1.
I try to smoke out the beast but he only gets quicker I like to keep my head in a simple place All the stories you tell they’re just making you cynical Could you come and see me face to face What do I even expect A friend to me I can’t protect An opening that leads to anywhere Rocks and dirt and sweaty games The house that bears your father’s name The hand you held but then it let you go Leave a mark on the door, in case I need to come back home All the demons in backyards hiding in bushes A machine to keep us all afraid Whatever I took now it’s making me lazy Can you cover for me I think that I can escape How could I even pretend To call you out to say I am Better off without you on my side A branch that blooms forgetful leaves Rusty cans that hold your dreams The chance to prove that you have earned your place Leave a mark on the door, in case I need to come back home
2.
the very feeling that you can’t shake puts you in harm’s way every rule that you create slips out of your hands you want to know if you hold your breath, how long can you last? but if you’re doing okay, we’ll stay out of your way. tell me you got it. snap back to a different time when we wasted the days, we didn’t tow the line and it was easy. you made me feel like I’m alive, like I don’t even have to try pulling something from the air you know you always made it easy. we want to know when you catch your breath how fast, will you run this time? but if we give you a head start, please don’t go too far. tell me you got it. we want to know, if we hold you up, how tall, are you going to stand? we’ll do what you say, if you it keeps you safe.
3.
Sun Solution 04:44
how can I explain I know what is done is done let the ghosts come back to take the things I love if I turn away what I can’t see must be gone and if I refuse to play does it mean I’ve won? help me find it softly/quiver my solution, against the sun now that I’ve arrived what’s the cost of being here (if you turn away it all disappears) if I turn away can I make it disappear? (what gives you the right to be with us here?) don’t make me explain I will not say what I’ve done a gentle silence helps me/figure isolation, from everyone I have found I softly/quiver my solution, against the sun
4.
Pilots 03:46
the looks that you get from pilots in your head tell me whatʼs been going on? the harder that you try to build up your defense running from your neighbors youʼre real so you donʼt have to prove it weʼll tell you what you need to know animal eyes keep you in suspense balancing on razor blades and everything you get leaves you wanting more feeding on the fable youʼre real so you donʼt have to worry your voice will sing our hymns and if it only consumes you weʼll hold you down until it ends and all that youʼve been told is real
5.
how’re you going to get information sent are you going to sneak in the park passed the cops and the homeless dogs are you going to be concerned by the promises you made are you taking word for word dictation or are you throwing ashes again how will you make yourself get well are you going to live all alone on the street where you used to feel whole you know I think I’ve done this before like I’m going backward again are you going to feel regret when you’re running out the clock you got some useless information now you’ll never be normal again are you going to be consumed by a lover with no name that puts you right back where you started you know I think I’ve done this before like I’m throwing ashes again how’re you going to get information sent are you going to sneak in the park passed the cops and the homeless dogs I think you’re going backwards my friend are you taking steps in the dark aren’t sick of making mistakes (I see you’re breaking glasses again) are you going to run and hide because they pick apart your face and are you thinking about leaving me? don’t put me right back where I started
6.
breaking television sitting still for the micro-execution I’ve got dinosaur mind it leaves me restless building walls on top of walls fading underneath hollywood alcohol how come the further out I go, the more I’m stranded falling for the chance mixing chemicals/a silent hand I don’t need control/at last they’ve come to tell me who I am what’s this big decision? my choice-my will-my chance-my precious contribution they’ve made the future meet demand so stop you’re screaming all these tiny secrets make me believe that I will have with no restriction catch ahold, you rising star this time it won’t be fleeting picking up the spill what’s fixed but will not heal a tired plan company that cares I close my eyes to get what I deserve I’ll get what I deserve Give me what I deserve We get what we deserve What will you give up?
7.
Ghost Story 04:06
you move slowly command attention Iʼve been living in suspension headphones and progress, leave us alone headphones and progress wonʼt leave us alone while Iʼm slipping youʼve been melting unsteady hands in traffic lights youʼre just drifting from concrete heights far-away formulas donʼt know us at all far-away formulas wonʼt leave us alone now Iʼm burning for your attention concrete heights they are melting while youʼre spinning I am empty perfect hands in suspension Iʼll move slowly youʼre second guessing
8.
Serpent 04:21
you’re there beside it waiting for the break have you decided it’s better than you think when you’re alone turning off carrying weight against the crush that’s when you know the comfort of letting a word turn to dust riding serpents home after the war peasants trying to even out the score what are the ways you might have missed charting your breath behind the bricks when you recall within the rush every word returns to dust favored graceful stories you’ve told shadow hidden will not be ignored
9.
watching systems flow between my walls waiting on the cloud collapse pulling my attention and on command I break off tiny pieces but it wants something more getting my corrections fit the equation pushes softly you’ll find me there in accord with the prediction but I’m not feeling anything are we getting closer? dedicated systems coming through my door changing with the circumstance I let it all just happen I’ve been prepared for permanent connection I’m not fearing anything
10.
Side Effect 04:50
blinking neon lights I sleep against the pictures counting out the currency hand to hand see me through this process a child in all directions swaying to the backbeat of a memory I lifted superstition suits me well I don’t care what you’ve brought I don’t care where you’ve gone I’ve been there, it’s hallow your words are opening changing up the lines and who is being fooled here? judging from the backseat spoils my head surrender at the highway neon lights & embers like running from a close call is a side effect of living I don’t care what they thought I don’t care what you’ve done if you beg, I’ll borrow our world is opening
11.
Interrupt 03:58
treat me like the coin you’d never lose bone that cannot break looking out the way we start further from the soft divide steel and stone won’t interrupt we have got to become
12.
Corners 04:38
I don’t need a reason to want to feel something I recognize getting good at questions never guards against a strange reply I set up this corner When I’m backed in I cannot act suprised where’s that future freedom I think we sold out at the lowest price a heart that’s made of numbers you show me how well it calculates this blood’s for advertisement tie my tongue before you operate getting good at reason it don’t mean you got it figured out just because you show me numbers doesn’t mean that we are even now in your heart there’s a lot to lose good intent never makes it through corners shift I’ve been pushed aside I need something I can recognize

about

“Do you want to do this thing? Sit down and do it. Are you not writing? Keep sitting there. Does it not feel right? Keep sitting there.”
-excerpt from The Getaway Car by Ann Patchett

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released December 12, 2014

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Culture Trust Bronxville, New York

Instruments and computers and small clubs and headphones.

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